The 365 Project

Well folks, I’ve met the storage capacity maximum for this site (and just at the halfway point)! The saga continues to its completion at http://songjournal2.podomatic.com/ so please take a minute to update your bookmarks and subscriptions. The first entry at the new location will be Tuesday, Oct 23 and this site will remain up as an archive of the project to this point. My deepest thanks for everyone who’s been following along and for those curious enough to drop in.

See you on the other side!

Eric

i’ll live a month
of sundays all
in one day if
only i could
make them
them go away

the tea kettle
mousetrap reflection
tool doesn’t work
as planned
and the sun sets
as quickly
as it rises

no holy ghost building
no pilgrim stranger
or salvation premium

the band doesn’t
even attempt
to tune before
they begin the
sad waltz for
monday
nor do i
dance

no holy ghost building
no pilgrim stranger
or salvation premium

bhagiti 10.22.07 perrysburg, oh

goodbyes and leavings
beginnings
middles
and ends
there’s no place to stay
no place to stay

the machine moves
with or without me
sometimes i’m on
sometimes i want off

a puzzle piece
turned upside
down doesn’t fit
unless the rest of
the world is too

if the world is
upside down
then i’m
face up

bhagiti 10.21.07 perrysburg, oh

wide open spaces
enclosed in a moment
all that meant anything
surrounded by so
much detail and
pointlessness
was you

and then we crossed
the divide together

it was the only thing
that mattered not the
elevator bread nor
the hopeless
microfine lines
they drew

when we crossed
the divide together

bhagiti 10.20.07 perrysburg, oh

it was all
desks and beds
dark from the lamps
and faulty wiring
and doors leading
nowhere

and natalie
disappeared
into the ductwork
of a new old
house we never
knew

another old house
devours us
another old house
swallows us whole

so i bought
a tiny japanese
man he was on
the lam to find
her he disappeared
in there too

another old house
devours us
another old house
swallows us whole

bhagiti 10.19.07 perrysburg, oh

take a picture
it lasts longer
it’s a thousand
misunderstood
words but it holds
no candle
to a thousand
incarnations of
a rose

take your comic
book x-ray
specs and tell me
can you see
my secret desire
my longest day
my dream of the
eternal return
or just the pixel
myth of the
last day

take a picture
it lasts longer

take a picture
it lasts longer

bhagiti 10.18.07 perrysburg, oh

there are roads
and there are roads
no matter which ones
you take you always
end up in the same
place

we can run headlong
into heather birds
and bees escaping
into dry leaves clinging
to sweaters all the
same

choosing’s a game
win or lose
choosing’s a game
win or lose

spin the big wheel
and watch yourself
roll off the tracks bells
and whistles look best
with party hats and
shame

choosing’s a game
win or lose
choosing’s a game
win or lose

bhagiti 10.17.07 perrysburg, oh

in these empty passenger cars
with no engine to pull them
we can live out here in the cold
pile everything around us and
make a go

we’ll pretend to be buried alive
though this coffin is too small
and whoever digs us up will
be our forever and in the cold we’ll
make a go

will it be you first or me
another blanket please
will it be you first or me
another blanket please

and when they come looking for us
i’ll try hard not to laugh as they
poke their way through blankets
and phony coffins looking for their
lo and behold

will it be you first or me
another blanket please
will it be you first or me
another blanket please

bhagiti 10.16.07 perrysburg, oh

i'm ok

bhagiti 10.15.07 perrysburg, oh

the leaves know nothing
of a mile
the dirt underneath can’t
see the stars

sometimes you have
to be dead before you
can be born again

frost on the pumpkin says
it’s time
ice and mist leaks from the
sky

sometimes you have
to be dead before you
can be born again

at the gate

what’s your name
i said
what’s your name

(nobody)

sometimes you have
to be dead before you
can be born again

bhagit 10.14.07 perrysburg, oh

we knew the mask
you wore to hide from
yourself didn’t cover
the words you tore up
and swept under
the rug

words piled high
into a balcony from
which lovers spurned
or otherwise fling
themselves into
senselessness

you can get yourself
some time
or a rope
but time is longer than rope

and we all knew the
mask was better than
the cranberries and
salamanders you
were so close to
becoming

you can get yourself
some time
or a rope
but time is longer than rope

bhagiti 10.13.07 perrysburg, oh

it was always the thinnest
of thin ice spiderwebbing
through your veins like lost
highways no longer making
the trip home afraid of what
you thought you’d find there

and at camp like canoes
we slept overturned our
oars in our fishbaskets afraid
to laugh and you never did
and i knew you couldn’t and
that you didn’t care for the moon

and neither could i
but i did
and neither could i
but i did

and later in january when the
ground was as cold as you
could take it you pulled me
outside and pulled everything
off and didn’t shiver one bit
and forced yourself to smile
but you couldn’t make it last

and neither could i
but i did
and neither could i
but i did

and i knew you wouldn’t have it
any other way
and i knew you wouldn’t have it
any other way
any other way
any other way

bhagiti 10.12.07 perrysburg, oh

sleep comes always
just before the alarm
through the night
trains scream and i want
them to take me away
or run me over

the cold through the
window is finally real
this time and the
bed that wouldn’t let me
sleep now won’t let me
go but i do

when does it all stop
when will it be quiet again
pull the plug
pull the plug

i will daydream my
return in blankets sitting
in the middle of the
autumn woods covered
in leaves and twigs warm
and content

when does it all stop
when will it be quiet again
pull the plug
pull the plug

bhagiti 10.11.07 perrysburg, oh

the high altitude
jet plane
reimagining cumulous
with straightedge
vapor trails
is a phantom
whose presence
is unclear

i suppose that
everyone
who has fallen to earth
regretted in an instant
believing
in a phantom
whose presence
is unclear

leave it to the birds
leave it to the birds

i’m happy sticking to
the ground
firmly attached by forces
beyond my control
believing
in a phantom
whose power
is clear

leave it to the birds
leave it to the birds

bhagiti 10.10.07 perrysburg

gliding gliding
hypnotized
penny for
your thoughts
how much to
keep them
to yourself
make me guess
what broken bread
can’t be fixed
again what fish
eaten can’t swim
again what wine
can’t return to the
vine

meanwhile
night peeks
through blinds
and my light
sneaks
back though
neither have
eyes needing
blinding instead
a threshold
between life
and living or
knowing and
not

gliding gliding
hypnotized
america
a main drag
that isn’t
a cowboy
that’s neither
a continental divide
that doesn’t
a jacket that smells
of leaves and
leaving and in
the breastpocket
a notebook
that reads
itself

bhagiti 10.9.07 perrysburg, oh

ohio stretches like a lie
toward the plains and
promises of the west
to the sleepy south
below the cool green
east and the endless
forests of the north

roads lead in or away
roads lead in or away

ohio is a heart that no
longer beats kept alive
by trains pumping its
crisscrossing veins and
sad eyed summer
slaves to the catsup trade

roads lead in or away
roads lead in or away

ohio dead or dying no
arrow filled sebastian
merely an unavoidable
swamp that continuously
tries to refill itself with the
muck long removed

roads lead in or away
roads lead in or away

bhagiti 10.8.07 perrysburg, oh

the sky is as black
as a crow
and as beautiful

my belly
full of grapes
makes no complaint
and the cool
humidity of morning
struggles
between the death
of summer and the
birth of death

it caresses me
seduces me
kisses me
licking my face
as if to say
take me now
for tomorrow
we are gone

bhagiti 10.7.07 perrysburg, oh

i stand in the middle
of ten thousand streets
all at once and everywhere
they lead is nowhere each
screaming in concrete
seducing with slick
rainsoaked curves but each
a dead end none to
salvation nor even
to acceptable ruin

ten thousand streets
all at once everywhere
a spiderweb traffic jam of
industrial strength chaos
linear asphalt beauty
a din of scrape and roar
all leading to madness
madness of desire
madness of restlessness
madness of choice
madness of singularity
madness of loss
madness of responsibility
madness of hope
madness of hopelessness

bhagiti 10.6.07 perrysburg, oh

morning makes
no compromises
it reveals to us
the actions
of the night
and hides
the moon
in its light

everything before is meaningless
everything before is everything
which side are you on

we are not
morning
like prospectors
without pans
we wade in
murky water
that hides
untold
riches

everything before is meaningless
everything before is everything
which side are you on

tripping over
pebbles
and god we
stumble toward
nothing when
everything
is directly
below

everything before is meaningless
everything before is everything
which side are you on

bhagiti 10.5.07 perrysburg, oh

i went to the station
no suitcase in my hand
and there an old man
you leavin or stayin
i’m re-parting
remaining and departing
at the same time
that is
i’m here
but never
here

so there i sat on the
platform watching the trains
come and go people’s
faces staring out at
other possible
realities each better than
their own
that is
they’re here
but never
here

bhagiti 10.4.07 perryburg, oh

outside now
we are all seated
around a large
round piano
we each have
the notes
that are ours

we begin
playing each after
the other and
it is strange
beautiful music
before it
begins to rain

out of the night endlessly
twisting i lay dreaming

the piano
fills with water
soon goldfish
appear flickering
in the dark
water born
from the music

jay closes
the lid and folds
everything up
until it’s gone
water fish and all
before it
stops raining

out of the night endlessly
twisting i lay dreaming

bhagiti 10.3.07 perrysburg, oh

my barn is full of stars
pitched up high with
blankets of blue and
green glowing strange
sequins and when it’s
cold i see my breath
and in the breath-dust
are spelled out the words
i can’t seem to say
letters spill out like
a vaporized soup backlit
by the barn-glow that
the neighbors know
isn’t quite right but
later at night i return
to the blue blankets awash
in the radiance of my
celestial secrets each
within five points of right
removed from their seas
of night there with me
burning into me dreams
of olden days and days
yet still to be seen
the light is bright and i have
lost sight of all that isn’t
night and the pretend joy
of all i ever wanted to be
and see is there forever
shielded by universal dreams
never meant to be or be seen
by the likes of me and here
everything is everything
seen and unseen

bhagiti 10.2.07 perrysburg, oh

hey now
stop cowering under
barley rows and hiding
in the rye
no escaping into wheat
and corn
leave that for the birds

the mind’s
pastures harvested
soon will sleep for the
moon will too
plump again for the last
time and
leave you to the birds

as the husks dry
the worm reminds
that fruit is sweetest
before it dies

as kids
my brother and i
ran barefoot through the
corn
unafraid of what the crow had
known and
left us to the birds

hey now
stop cowering under
barley rows and hiding
in the rye
no escaping into wheat
and corn
leave that for the birds

as the husks dry
the worm reminds
that fruit is sweetest
before it dies

bhagiti 10.1.07 perrysburg, oh

got to get this all together and
reconcile the pines with the silver
the damp with the wet and the
sand with the secrets of the soul

in a st. vitus dance like a bonfire
taunting all the ghosts of the forest
while the flames flicker and the
stars shimmer before turning away

what way what way
what penelope would wait
and for how long

the birds at the window ruffle their
sad feathers waiting for seeds
to grow more flittering bellies to
rule the trees and windowsills

the compass won’t stop spinning
nothing looks the same anymore
the moon never stops laughing and
paper boats will only get you so far

what way what way
what penelope would wait
and for how long

bhagiti 9.30. 07 perrysburg, oh

i am not one
to take to the road
i listen to the trees
and stare at the
moon wondering
how far is far

it rains in spirals
inside my head the
hissing always in
my ears reminding
me to keep the
windows open

let it in let it out
let it in let it out

as leaves leap
like lovers and fools
and night regains
control over the
glass i will take
it head-on

the fish eagle
cannot swim nor
can the flying fish
fly but we all know
truth is somewhere
in between

let it in let it out
let it in let it out

bhagiti 9.29.07 perrysburg, oh

what’s your favorite anything
does it have to do with
dime turn decisions or the way
telephones make the tormenting
stop

once in a minute i dreamt every
dream i ever had
vivid as life and i drank them in
cool and slow so they wouldn’t
stop

tie a bell around your neck
let everybody know you’re there

let’s erase constellations and make
‘em up new this light
is long dead before we were born
our light soon will sometime
stop

like some crazy lunatic who
would shoot me just
to see me try there has got to
be a better way to make it
stop

tie a bell around your neck
let everybody know you’re there

bhagiti 9.28.07 perrysburg, oh

what dustspeck floating by
teeming with tiny mystery
was your disappearing act

where did everyone go
where did everyone go

your headsup penny was
one of the best stuck full
of wisdom and lucky magic

i know you know I know
i know you know I know

hope hangs like a wish
on a string under daisies
ripe with pollen and tears

listen, i can’t look away
listen, i can’t look away

bhagiti 9.27.07 perrysburg, oh

the tree outside squeaking heavy with tiny hollow-boned birds weightless
brown puffs of seeded white bellies behind them the dusky sky before the
curtain is pulled back illuminating the deception of old gods constellations pinprick white lights waiting for some kid to shoot ‘em out

you know how it goes your petals drop though your feet are deep in the dirt
like daisies pushing up through the rainy day sidewalk in kid’s colored chalk
the lobster sings when he hits the pan he takes it like a man
the cook faces the music as the glass pinches the sand

time is time
make up your mind
time is time
make up your mind

when it gets down to it no matter how many times venus crosses the sky
our eyes refuse to believe she’s anything but a star lost missing her arms
a cool pale violet diamond hung ‘round the neck of a moon she can’t embrace
what a waste all the world’s lovers can’t escape the treason of dreams

in the great lottery we’ve won a prize we all die but we get a little slice
of heavenly pie cut six-point-five billion times all in one bite and you smile
then forever in your stomach it glows to remind you that time won’t bind you
and the three vultures still eye you with delicious suspicions that there is

time is time
make up your mind
time is time
make up your mind

bhagiti 9.26.07 perrysburg, oh

i have bathed in the stream
of consciousness under
the featherbed pillows of
reason and rhyme

the dust under boxcars
makes me sad like how the
purple summer sun sometimes
seems all alone

it all means something
doesn’t it
it’s all nothing
isn’t it

staring back at me like a
religion of photographs
torn from a stranger’s journal
or breastpocket

an alchemist’s crucible
the gloomy vessel of
powdery failed attempts at
dreaming in gold

it all means something
doesn’t it
it’s all nothing
isn’t it

pound grommets into anvils
of soap and birdfeathers
string them with gossamer thread
garments of hope

it all means something
doesn’t it
it’s all nothing
isn’t it

bhagiti 9.25.07 perrysburg, oh

what four questions
would i ask
that i haven’t asked
already
i know the answers
won’t come
it’s ok

the barn doors are
open and
the horses are long
gone they
won’t return again
it’s ok

this must be the place
this must be the place
my slow boat to china
has just come in

what i wouldn’t
give i long
to see japan i
dream of
underwater
seaweed
it’s ok

this must be the place
this must be the place
my slow boat to china
has just come in

bhagiti 9.24.07 perrysburg, oh

time winds through
the by and by
one moment is all
it takes

and running through
it a single
shiny thread of liquid
silver

but that’s not what
the thief wants
the root of the root is
obscure

pull the blinds
pull the blinds

the worm knows both
the apple and
the heart both sweet with
desire

inside a forest
silence and flight
fight for impossibility
alone

pull the blinds
pull the blinds

bhagiti 9.23.07 perrysburg, oh

a piano wrapped
around a room
it will only play
one tune

it will have to do
it will have to do

a birdcage big
enough for two but
mine only knows
one tune

it will have to do
it will have to do

if there was only
one song would
it need to be sung
would we secretly
dream up the rest
and keep them
hidden inside like
sidewalk pennies
and good luck charms

one year wrapped
around me like a shroud
tune after tune

it will have to do
it will have to do

bhagiti 9.22.07 perrysburgh, oh

i’m going to press
this song up against
the wall and in no
uncertain terms

i’m going to have
my way with you

i’ve had it with you
let me love you stop
resisting you know
we’re halfway through

i’m going to have
my way with you

let me take you
to evergreen pines
trampled leaves
under toe
tucked inside
wool blankets
under snow
or slip past the
undersea
green weeds

i don’t ask for much
in return just give
up your silver threaded
pearls of impulse

i’m going to have
my way with you

bhagiti 9.21.2007 perrysburg, oh

yesterday i saw a leaf leap
from a tree it just let go
an arc of awkward freedom
and instead of falling it
lifted up and out of sight

stand on a chair
lift your hands high
it is never enough

like slipping through
pale mist the kiss of
cold against skin every
button undone down
to the last one down
down down down

when you’re ready to leap
let go crop circle geometry
will be your guide you will
glide awkwardly lifted up
and out of sight

stand on a chair
lift your hands high
it is never enough

what mystery still remains
what survives the reigns
the harnessed desire that
strains to reach inside and
touch the dust of dreams

stand on a chair
lift your hands high
it is never enough

bhagiti 9.20.07 perrysburg, oh

i have forgotten why
tell me again

am i pushing this along
or am i being dragged
limply behind

sometimes i want to
pretend each day
doesn’t matter

can the angel-fueled
furnace churning the
words burning in turns
bake my blackbird pie

will the rope that keeps
me tied to the back
of this bakery delivery
truck cease to exist

besides
what’s so easy about
sugar fruit
flour
and heat

bhagiti 9.19.07 perrysburg, oh

why is it like this
why does the day kiss
the light from
satellites above

what sleepybug journeyed eye
can compromise what i
have known all along that
there is nothing but a heatseeking
heart beating deep inside of me

why can’t i hide this
why do the birds miss
the sigh from
my eyes above

what tatertot tasted kiss
do i miss the most like
the pale ghost who hangs
from my bedpost a sad memory
of how everything used to be

you turn your leaves
and greet the trees
on hands and knees
and wonder what kind of fool am i
and wonder what kind of fool am i

like riding a bicycle
full speed into snowflakes
obliterating across our faces
geometric teary diamonds dissolving
against the heat of our cheeks

you turn your leaves
and greet the trees
on hands and knees
and wonder what kind of fool am i
and wonder what kind of fool am i
and wonder what kind of fool am i

bhagiti 9.18.07 perrysburg, oh

sometimes i float
sometimes i sink
in between there is
weightlessness

i am heavy
with weightlessness
it presses down on me
like a hawk before the kill

the moon begins
to swell for the sixth time
and the hawk clears the yard
before weightless resistance
lifts itself skyward

i will turn a corner
i will turn a corner

bhagiti 9.20.07 perrysburg, oh

agile grace under
four-corner street
lamp humming light
orange mystery

cool in the chaos
of shouts squealling
tires in the din you
ruled from the alley

i will look for you
always and again
otherwise this
city’s already dead

and then i lost you
under the wheels
they destroyed your
ginger symmetry

sometimes the only
thing that matters
is what we will never
understand

i will look for you
always and again
otherwise this
city’s already dead

bhagiti 9.16.07 perrysburg, oh

i look over the edge
and they’re all gone
not a single scrap
of paper to be seen

eaten buried or
retrieved this
transmission is
slowly weakening

nothing’s lost
that can be found
everything is
someplace

like a squirrel
who spends his
life searching
to find

nothing’s lost
nothing’s lost

bhagiti 9.15.07 perrysburg, oh

i get so tired
sometimes
i want to disappear
into it

lose myself
wrapped in
the arms of morpheus
forever

tonight
yes i said yes
tonight

i will give in
very soon
i will slip past the gate
without fail

tonight
yes i said yes
tonight

bhagiti 9.14.07 perrysburg, oh

the blankets wouldn’t
release me as i lay trying
to go back to where i was
minutes ago with the cold
from the open window
working its way
into my failed attempt
at dream recovery

morning is a cruel killer
of warm blanketed bliss
a destroyer of dreams
evaporating the gentle
black of night and pressing
the moon into submission

night keeps its greatest
secret during the day
in hiding from
the accusations
of
the sun

bhagiti 9.13.07 perrysburg, oh

a round house
in the middle of the
old neighborhood
and there i snapped
music around my head
before leaving

you lived in
a glass cube high
in the trees hidden
from others though
exposed to me and
to you i did climb

always and again
the same is never
the same is never
the same again

and after
we climbed out onto
a limb dangling our
feet over the black
water underneath the
moon and laughed

always and again
the same is never
the same is never
the same again

bhagiti 9.12.07 perrysburg, oh

i awoke to the crispy cool
of autumn in the air today
it’s chill embraced me with
its leaf mold caress as i lay
sleeping dreaming a kiss

fall the reverse resurrection
i love you and your harvest
moons and your chilly clarity
but you are no lover you
take but cannot ever give

i will be here
same time next year
i will be here

every day i will slip into you
surrounded by increasing night
and breathe deep your cool
before we part again never
having shared a single secret

i will be here
same time next year
i will be here

bhagiti 9.11.07 perrysburg, oh

peas in a pod
what does it all mean
the vines are long
but have surely
reached something

tell me something
anything
tell me something
anything

last night a
kitchen full of dying
birds in cages
we healed them with
sunflower seeds

tell me something
anything
tell me something
anything

everything quiet
speaks again but we
don’t always hear
it doesn’t mean we’re
not listening

tell me something
anything
tell me something
anything

bhagiti 9.10.7 perrysburg, oh

my shoes
in a dream
and my feet in them
in awful
brackish water
where i found
indian drums and later
a man tried
to kill me
for them

i woke up
again to rain
already feeling the wet
seeping in
to my bones
wondering
what water means to me
and if it
figures in
my death

why water
why do i
never seem to escape
love and
death within
your cool
green and blue brine
at once
i breathe
then die

bhagiti 9.9.07 perrysburg, oh

nothing beats
rain in the morning
before the sun
and bird worms
here the bed a
paradise of
non-escape
a warm refuge
in diaphanous
gossamer
at one with
lingering half dreams
and the hissing
against the leaves
outside
the moon that
tormented me
last week is gone
now and the sky
through my window
drips dark as i
make my way
out of night to
fight off the day

bhagiti 9.8.07 perrysburg, oh

no full range bleary
eyed evening moon
hypnosis can make the
morning snowglobe cry

daybreak dreams
everlast the
longest haunting
the rest of the day

for two weeks
here i’ve lingered
each of these
a cipher

shouts and kissing
nowhere running
underwater flying
clamshell mystery

stuck between night
and day a limbo
of consciousness
i can’t escape

for two weeks
here i’ve lingered
each of these
a cipher

bhagiti 9.7.07 perrysburg, oh

i want to float
i want gravity to lose
its hold on me
just a little i want
to move with a
little less resistance

i used to dream
i was invisible
and that i could fly
i would disappear
and float away
over the playground

it sounds simple
but there’s no
comprehending this

now invisibility
is an impossibility
but there’s still
hope for light between
the earth and the
bottom of my feet

it sounds simple
but there’s no
comprehending this

bhagiti 9.6.07 perrysburg, oh

i once knew this girl and
rain poured from her fingers
but the only parade she
ever touched was her own

once i squeezed my finger
to see if the water would come
and just as i was about to
stop i could only raise a drop

some people have all the luck
some people have all the luck

when counting stones or stars
you need to go by thirteens and
sevens the logic of happiness
has nothing to do with elevens

the bridges crossed and
powders lost are not for coming
and going but for dandelions
growing and fingers that weep

some people have all the luck
some people have all the luck

bhagiti 9.5.07 perrysburg, oh

last night the moon
waning
from behind dappled
backlit clouds
directed my dreaming

even so
cruel arid moon
i’ll still love you

there i witnessed
three deaths
including my own each
still heavy
within me i am shaken

even so
cruel arid moon
i’ll still love you

tonight i will pull the
curtains
in tight to keep that light
from seeping
into my senseless sleeping

even so
cruel arid moon
i’ll still love you

bhagiti 9.4.07 perrysburg, oh

all the notes to myself
the to-do’s and to-be’s
the unpurchased
groceries
reminders
and crazy ideas
have all fallen from
a bulletin board
in limbo

i tried to put it all back
together but all i got was
a paper version
of me
an effigy
full of crazy ideas
and unpurchased
groceries lying
legs akimbo

life is a day job
full of unheeded
to-be’s and
listless schemes
and then we realize
everything falls apart

bhagiti 9.3.07 perrysburg, oh

these stones have fallen
from those stars
and these stones here
have fallen from
my ears

last night at dusk the sun
whispered to
the moon it’s going to
happen soon
you’ll see

come closer to me
like the ocean
i have become so
obsessed
with the pace of the day
that i have forgotten
who i am

bhagiti 9.2.07 perrysburg, oh

there is a determined
hopping fish deep
inside me flopping his way
to the pool of green great
escape in my heart
it is where he meets
eternity

no one to rain on his
plans he speeds to his
school of wisdoms in
session everywhere
inside me and like in
that dream i am late
for class

there is no here
beyond there
there is no here
beyond there

don’t hold it against me
the rivers inside me
they are teaming with brine

who knows what futures
lie beyond the walls of
sleep deep within the
hollows and pools inside
thousands of fishes
try to find their way back
home

there is no here
beyond there
there is no here
beyond there

bhagiti 9.1.07 perrysburg, oh

sometimes we all
try to explain it
i do it too
but sometimes it’s
unwise to unravel
and dabble in
the why
because the fruit
is soft beneath
the rind

like they say
if you explain
it away
it’s gone

we have looked out
the window upon the
giant face
who strokes its chin
while we’re inside
quickly rendering it
invisible
the diamond
in the mine
is still
a stone

like they say
if you explain
it away
it’s gone

bhagiti 8.31.07 perrysburg, oh

king loui the blank-teenth
your reign was short
an unlikely snow king
a loner from the get-go
unaware of your own
perfect purity

sometimes timetables
times three just
don’t make sense to me

you in your sweet pea
television set bed
plastic versailles with
your vices and habits
you could be cruel but
it wasn’t your fault

sometimes timetables
times three just
don’t make sense to me

king loui the blank-teenth
your reign was short
an unlikely snow king
but in an instant you
taught me how to love
a cricket i never knew

sometimes timetables
times three just
don’t make sense to me

bhagiti 8.30.07 perrysburg, oh

it’s unwise digging up
some pharaoh’s tomb
are the all wars
pestilence
and curses
worth it
for somebody
else’s dusty
flea market

and who’s curse is it
anyway ours or his stuck
for millennia with
an out of date
awkward
chair a
dead cat and
impractical
gold headwear

if there’s a lesson from
history it’s this the past
is dead and if you
die with lots of
stuff you’re
still dead but
we still keep
moving
million-year-old
garage sales into
better digs

bhagiti 8.28.07 perrysburg, oh

i’m anticipating
that day
when you can feel
that something
has changed
you can’t put your
finger on it but
you just know
that summer
is over
and you smell
autumn
in the air
the sky paler
the leaves beginning
to molder
the chill of the
morning and the
sharpness of
night
i do not mourn
the loss of summer
but i celebrate the
birth of
autumn
and its continuously
failing
resurrection

bhagiti 8.28.07 perrysburg, oh

coming out of nowhere
what a place to be why
would anybody leave
trade you my here
for there

nowhere is somewhere
got to be

does it work in reverse
can the tables be turned
is it a key without a door
or the other way
around

nowhere is somewhere
has to be

someone once told me
you’re going nowhere
but i got lost on the way
now i’ve forgotten
the directions

nowhere is somewhere
has to be

nowhere is somewhere
got to be

bhagiti 8.27.07 perrysburg, oh

sleep the great equalizer
and mystifier we have
not danced well together
for such a long time

what have i done
to turn you away

take me in your arms and
caress me seduce me
headlong into your
wetless dark waters

to swim with the
fishes of dreams

sleep the more you ignore me
the further i slip into
this waking coma strung
up by your puppeteer

who pulls the strings
but won’t let me dance

bhagiti 8.26.07 perrysburg

rain splatters the trees
out my window coming
in small crescendos the
hissing rising and falling
against the leaves

i want the
green glistening forever

in here the lights and
speakers hum but i am
detached squeezing
the life out of this through
filters and sieves

i am not
losing myself fast enough

there is a tree resembling
each one of us hidden
in a forest somewhere
we seek it stumble upon
it or hide from it

if we find it
we know how we die

bhagiti 8.25.07 perrysburg, oh

when we were kids
it was always
tree-fort go-cart
for-ends forever
and then there was
no end

from start to finish
to start

and now oceans of
endings the
seas defending
clinging and
bending over
backwards

from start to finish
to start

so we’re for-ends
forever strange
loops blending
endings into
openings

from start to finish
to start

bhagiti 8.24.07 perrysburg, oh

i have reached the
breaking point
there is no more i can
do they
have asked too much

time and time again
here i am here i am

i’ll fold myself into
an paper moth
and toss myself over
the edge
flutter or fall i’ll be free

time and time again
here i am here i am

my shell has cracked
i am used up
i can no longer sleep
worried
i say it will change but

time and time again
here i am here i am
time and time again
here i am here i am

bhagiti 8.22.07 perrysburg, oh

too much morning in here
not much night
both have their quiet
loneliness
but the morning’s
wonder is not the
night’s mystery

what is it to be ruled
by the moon
or the sun
life forces the day
upon us desire
compels the night
each a sentence

march into glory retreat
into shade the day
a battle the night
an arcade
emerge from one
and slip into the
other having changed

bhagiti 8.22.07 perrysburg, oh

like the moth knows
the flame is warm
but deadly
and proximity
is everything

but the moth
was not made
for delicacy
it flits recklessly
unafraid

carelessly we
tumble unaware
that the wind
may dash us
on the rocks

our powdery wings
obliterated freckle
the moss with
the only thing
that really matters

bhagiti 8.21.07 perrysburg, oh

what are we
supposed to do
get lost in the fields
turn under the wheels
spit up apple seeds
or weep in the weeds

or disappear
into the sky

there’s one
thing to be said
about dandelion society
they lose their heads
and the wind just
blows them away

and disappear
into the sky

the balloon
let go over
the grocery store
is both joy and
horror like a ghost

it disappears
into the sky

bhagiti 8.20.07 perrysburg, oh

my roof has a leak
i am still asleep
i think
the puzzle is not
puzzling and i
should know better

the house tries hard
to keep the water
out
yet our bodies
work equally hard
keeping it in

what is the answer
what was the question

i have a friend who
says he is a laundry
room
he washes and he
dries and the dirty
clothes keep coming

my soul has a leak
i am still asleep
i think
the puzzle is not
puzzling and i
should know better

what is the answer
what was the question

bhagiti 8.19.07 perrysburg, oh

it was the desert
before me from
a sliding glass door
everybody i knew
from childhood
was there

two tiny black spots
writhing in the sky
grew and twisted
into angels that
only i could see
then they were gone

i came to show you
a song i had made
and everyone there
was already singing
it

i took you to your door
to show you the angels
you held my hand
but they did not
reappear

bhagiti 8.18.07 perrysburg, oh

every morning the train
and every engineer
says hey it’s me
i want to be free
in his
horn
long and low
or three quick
high hits
and this one guy
today a melisma

born in a faraway place
or maybe here without
a home
looking for the familiar
face that means you
have meaning

it’s ok
we’re all dropped here
anyway it’s up to us to
find our way
out

so mr engineer
hit it like this
one time
for me

bhagiti 8.17.07 perrysburg, oh

i made my way
through crowded
streets and a
million voices i couldn’t
understand

it was the mystery
and melancholy
i had seen in a painting

soon i turned into
darkness and a stone
archway was lit by
candlelight

behind it a flea market
and a woman at a
table with a
single, oddly-shaped
container smiled

i knew what was inside
but i dared not look
she opened it for
me and i could not look
away

bhagiti 8.16.07 perrysburg, oh

billions of miles
away there is
a star with your
name on it
whose light
hasn’t reached
us yet
don’t stop
wishing upon it

deep in the
sargasso
a treasure
is hidden
protected by
eels and waiting
to be found

trust is a pearl
and a star
somewhere
there is a box
of all the stolen
pearls
and the light of all
the distant
stars
they are yours

bhagiti 8.15.07 perrysburg, oh

what matters
make matters
worse
four horsemen
and madhatters
drawing and
dancing crazy
patterns
and
speaking
in tongues
and math

soon august’s
withering
will be a thing
of the past
and soon we’ll
be shivering
and dreaming
that the sea
is the sky
inverted
and the stars
are fishes

bhagiti 8.14.07 perrysburg, oh

what happens in an instant
can last forever
what takes hours is easily
forgotten
a falcon on a lamp pole
a haiku
on the way to the grocery
store

warm morning insects
the dawn chorus rouses me
i’m out of coffee

bhagiti 8.13.07 perrysburg, oh

i’d walk down the street
if there was a street to walk
upon
but nothing’s the same
now that everything we
once knew
is gone
the times they did change
but i’m afraid i’m the same
and it hurts me to say that
i still feel like i’m the
only one

would you lie in my bed
tell me it’s gone to my head
i’ll agree
that the things that i see
are not even the way they’re
supposed to be
and i’ll you a secret about
nineteen eighty three
that when you were gone
i knew that something
was wrong

oh what i would do
to be part of everything
if you see that i do then
i’ll come back for you and
then you will see
that our feet could be laughing
at the stars
and that nothing would ever
take us apart
that our feet could be laughing
at the stars
and that nothing would ever
take us apart

bhagiti 8.12.07 perrysburg, oh

i keep waiting and waiting
but all it leads to is more
waiting

i keep writing and writing
but all it leads to is more
writing

i keep wishing and wishing
but all it leads to is more
wishing

i keep loving and loving
but all it leads to is
nothing

i keep sitting and sitting
and all it leads to is
nothing

i’ll stand out here all night and count to thirteen
you can be all you ever want in a dream

bhagiti 8.11.7 perrysburg, oh

sometimes
we earn our stars
and our stripes
sometimes our
stripes are black
and white
or our star
has fallen

prisons stand
where we build
them brick mortar
or invisible
stars don’t
actually
fall the world
merely turns

day in
day out
breathe in
breathe out

bhagiti 8.10.07 perrysburg, oh

in deference to the hills
the sun comes shining
for love of the trees
swallows on the wing

it is real
it is real

like night to the moon
your face is glowing
for love of the breeze
you trust in knowing

it is real
it is real

once a white dress
meant something
but after swimming
in the clear green water
i have forgotten my name
and what everything means

like shipwreck treasure
long fused together
the old man carved
an icon in silver
and placed it into my chest
and there it began to beat

it is real
it is real

bhagiti 8.9.07 perrysburg, oh

today i beat the lowdrone
and the temple bell
ipushed them down
before they could seduce me
into twenty more minutes
of sleep

today the morning hums and rings
even before the sun sings
its heliocentric summer humidity
and i wonder if i’ll live today like it
was my last

so much wasted
so much forgotten
i know what i gotta do
but i can’t seem to get it done

maybe tomorrow i’ll let
the lowdrone and
temple bell hum and ring
and escape into twenty minutes
of dreaming and stillness
and be alive

what’s wasted is wasted
what’s forgotten is forgotten
here everything is vivid
now never happens again

bhagiti 8.8.07 perrysburg, oh

last night
i dreamt
my closet
was full of unrealistic
animal
costumes
bears
rats
rabbits
squirrels
and
a porcupine
they wore
tophats
and vests
the bear had a watchchain
i wore them everyday
it was both
liberating
and terrifying
like a mummer
on the solstice
i wanted it to be true

once again
when night falls
in my head
i’d like to know
that i know nothing

bhagiti 8.7.07 perrysburg, oh

i am moving
in spirals
both twisting
upward and
fainting in coils

bhagiti 8.6.07 perrysburg, oh

it’s finally raining here again
the birds and worms are wriggling
the mud is letting go from my
head down to my toes
the empty cobwebs in my head
tell me that philosophy’s dead
that bats that were in my belfry
have all gone home to bed
this one’s not my best one
but i’ll do it anyway

i throw these things together fast
i don’t know any other way
it’s just my way to remind myself
to be here everyday

after gulping down my coffee
i got an idea for a line
i’ll wring it to it’s inevitable
sometimes confusing conclusion
toss in some stuff from dreams
work in mouths flowers and the sea
wrack my brain for memories
and twist myself into reverie
sometimes it’s like giving birth
to a pink hippopotamus

i throw these things together fast
i don’t know any other way
it’s just my way to remind myself
to be here everyday

the third verse is the hardest one
the rhythm got screwed up i know
ain’t got time to make it right
didn’t get enough sleep last night
it’s at one minute thirty-three
and the muse has just abandoned me
think of something nice to sing
but i can’t seem to think of anything
like staring at a wall sometimes
seems like nothing’s happening

i throw these things together fast
i don’t know any other way
it’s just my way to remind myself
to be here everyday

bhagiti 8.5.07 perrysburg, oh

i’m
sliding down a wire
i’m counting on the fire
that burns inside
keeps me dry

i’m
looking for a sign
i need a small reminder
fools are always kinder
if they are loved

i was told there is a lake
with a woman underneath
anyone who tries to find her
is never seen again

i’m
tripping up a staircase
i’ve fallen flat on my face
trying to get back
to the top of that wire

bhagiti 8.4.07 perrysburg, oh

season after season
my veins are full of blue
and my soul is ripe
my soul is ripe

there is an elevator
to the top of your flower
but the sign says
don’t bother

where did you go
where did you go

remember when
you were pregnant
with the sea
but you had
to give her up

where did you go
where did you go

there is a cricket
in the afterlife
whose leggy violin
will put us all to sleep

where did you go
where did you go

bhagiti 8.3.07 perrysburg, oh

i had a dream last night
that i was sleeping
in a bed outdoors
in the middle of winter

it was snowing and i
was surrounded by
douglas fir and pines
it was freezing cold

but i was warm
but i was warm

i wanted to stay there
forever in my bed as
snow continued to pile
high and slowly bury me

but i awoke to august
but i awoke to august
it’s already hotter than hell
it’s already hotter than hell

bhagiti 8.2.07 perrysburg, oh

pour it in
pour it out
fill it up
and dump
it out
again

full or empty
full or empty

worry not of this
fear more for the empty heart
than the empty life

life is a journal
the heart a tasty morsel
three vultures told me

bhagiti 8.1.07 perrysburg, oh

what will i do
when there are
so many i’m
already forgetting
most all of them

is it better to
blend in and be
forgotten than
to be small and
shine for a moment

you can’t pour water into them
you can’t sweep the floor with them

i’ll ask myself
what’s better
a look back
a sidelong glance
or eyes fixed forward

you can’t pour water into them
you can’t sweep the floor with them

bhagiti 7.31.07 perrysburg, oh

silence
nursed from cacti
and a million
grains of sand
in a single square inch
each with its own
eternity
each capable of finding
its way into
a bottle
a beach
or nowhere
at all
each locked in its own
oblivion
secreted from
the buzzards
the lizards
the tumbleweeds
the noon hellfire
and the frigid moonlight

bhagiti 7.30.07 perrysburg, oh

like a dentist
who gives kids
lollipops
for good behavior
we stare into the dark
and the light
our pupils
will adjust
to both
a dry
wilting ripple
and an eagle’s
echoing shriek
trying not to be
done in by
this garden
ripe with the
color
of sound

bhagiti 7.29.07 perrysburg, oh

we’re living in
dangerous times
everybody needs
a survival kit

pack carefully
there isn’t much
room

you’ll need:

three cans of irony
quick wit
spare hearts and
a book of unwritten rules

you’ll need a photograph
of paavo nurmi
a bottle opener and
an empty bottle

find some skin
thickener
a recyclable container
and a soft drive
with an undo button

you’ll need a redo button

a self-made songbook
writer’s cramp
travel pillbox and
an incurable disease

you’ll need
infinite capacity for love
and a healthy appreciation
of contradictions

bhagiti 7.28.07 perrysburg, oh

the price for wisdom
is feeling
what’s locked inside you
is stealing

what you were meant for
a blue heart on a wall
another about to fall

make your case
to the judge
but no judgment’s
gonna come

you’re a blank sheet of paper
ask yourself this
what’s left to find

the bird
knows
what’s in his beak
but not
what’s in his breast

bhagiti 7.27.07 perrysburg, oh

who believes in the earth
do you believe in the sky
i believe in the sea
the oceans brimming with
fishes swimming

and they are perfect
and they are perfect

am i me beyond this sea
is it a reflection of me
or is it reflected in me
we’re all regular people
aren’t we

sometimes snowflakes
look like stars
sometimes starfish
dance like stars
sometimes people
feel like stars
sometimes stars
aren’t stars

and they are perfect
and they are perfect

bhagiti 7.26.07 perrysburg, oh

even if i had to write it
five hundred times on a
chalkboard
it still wouldn’t be enough
a midas touch in reverse
is hard to get unstuck

sometimes like natalie
slumped in her bed
the only reason
to get up is to show
you’re not ready
for the blue juice yet

the sun overhead
like a lightbulb
over a big stupid idea
laughs
like an overheated
man in the moon

the joke is on me
the joke is on me

i know what is right
but i’m not sure
what is left

bhagiti 7.25.07 perrysburg, oh

of all the fish in the trees
and birds in the sea
don’t pick me

i am a pile of pebbles
and each day i try to
skip one across to the
other side

some bounce
two or three
times before
they sink
others not once
not one
has made it yet

it’s a long way to go
it’s a long way to go

of all the fish in the trees
and birds in the sea
don’t pick me

bhagiti 7.24.07 perrysburg, oh

love and
confusion
conspire
to tear you apart
still
you are
lillies
spilling
from the mouths
of lovers

but at night
belladonna
you become
its poison
numbs you
its gift
no pain
so you may
fulfill your destiny

the antidote
you

7.23.07 perrysburg, oh

how much smaller
can you go
if you could only have
three hundred things
what would you
keep
what would you
throw away

what dusty keepsakes
living in a shoebox
do you take
to remind yourself
of parties vacations
birthdays and funerals
long gone

did you take the pictures
steal the towels
or buy the t-shirt
because you wanted
to remember
or because you knew
you’d forget

bhagiti 7.22.07 perrysburg, oh

your ghosts
silent
brushstroke
tombstones
behind
lilacs
and grasses

lo and behold
lo and behold

with one
silent
brushstroke
forever
ruling
matisse
obsolete

lo and behold
lo and behold

bhagiti 7.21.07 perrysburg, oh

how could you
of all people
be stuck here alone in toledo
i just don’t get it
what’s the matter with people

it’s something
else isn’t it
there’s something i can’t
put my finger on
what’s the rest of this story

i’ll ask
i’ll ask now

did you see me
look at your hands
there was something i wanted
to ask
i saw you turn in the mirror

i’ll ask
i’ll ask now
what do you say

bhagiti 7.20.07 perrysburg, oh

the past
is no friend’s
couch
upon which
to sleep
bedbugs there
hobnob
with haints

look back
and turn to salt
disobey
daedalus
and get yourself
dead

everyday
i deal in
yesterday
i dance
the dance
of death
one foot forward
do si do
one foot back
fall apart

at the end
i’ll sing
one last eulogy
for everything
that came
before

bhagiti 7.19.07 perrysburg, oh

i’ve been here before
and it’s always the same
love lets them go and i’m
half drowned

do you not see the irony
i do

i tuned my strings too high
and they’re starting to
break my heart it won’t
make a sound

but i’ll listen real close
you too

a hundred thousand flowers
i give you just walk to the
top of this hill and look down
there they are

they are yours
they always
were

you always
will be
the moon
to me

you always
will be
the moon
to me

bhagiti 7.18.07 perrysburg, oh

you are a flower undiscovered
still unnamed but with a beauty
surpassed only by your fragility
no color dare contain you

no narcissus bending to the water
to sob restrained at her reflection
no willow weeping in untold
lengths of green tendrils reaching

where do you go from here
you don’t know the way
you don’t know the way

what the world wouldn’t give
to love you to see you wake
in the morning to weave silver
in your hair smelling of outside

how can you choose between the
things you love when you feel unloved
when the arrows you’re shooting keep
missing the apples of your watery eyes

where do you go from here
you don’t know the way
you don’t know the way

listen
you don’t need to know
you just go

bhagiti 7.17.07 perrysburg, oh

the old house
wasn’t quite so scary
this time
john’s father didn’t
fall off the ladder
but i went off the roof
despite being able to fly
and was broken badly
the grave was a gimmick
and so was the gate
you were so much younger
than i remember
and went to your room
to play with the cat
and the other jennifer
and i
kissed
in the kitchen
when i was skipping school
until mom broke
a blister on my hand
before washing the dishes
and we all looked
at dirty pictures
and ate
our breakfast

bhagiti 7.16.07 perrysburg, oh

today
i am tired
i cannot resist
i will be pulled along
by the rising and setting
of the sun
i will not put up a fight
i give

the sandman
has poisoned me
i cannot come to my senses
i’m not fully awake
and i have
no control over my urge
to dream

i am sleepwalking
i am delirious
i am some twisted rabbi’s
lonely golem

from mud
i am made
and my curse lasts
until the universe calls for rain
but it hasn’t
rained for weeks; the forcast
eternal sunshine

bhagiti 7.15.07 perrysburg, oh

i have been plowed under
and rolled over
i have stretched
for miles
but it hasn’t changed a thing
under the sun

the sky above still tips
the universe and
its ever-expanding
holdings
and still the beetle cringes
under the rug

how can you explore the ocean from a balloon
how many times have we bet the sun and the moon

the world is everything without us
with coal for eyes
we see what we
are tricked
into believing and so live
under the gun

how much of it were we ever really prepared to get
has anyone here ever dared to cash in that bet

bhagiti 7.14.07 perrysburg, oh

remember
that summer
when everything was new
and how from
our seperate rooms
we shared a wall
our headboards
only inches apart
yet so far away
and once
late in the night
you tapped three times
on the wall
and waited
and i tapped back
and waited
and like this we carried on
for hours
and in the morning
over the cereal we stirred aimlessly
we smiled silently
at our newfound
language of love
and how every night
after
we lay awake waiting
and it always came
then back and forth
we tapped everything out
and understood
without words
each other
then
one night
you tapped differently
three times
then silence
i tapped four
and there you were
and then you were gone

bhagiti 7.13.07 perrysburg, oh

like rolling down a hill into heather
or running barefoot through the corn
the pebbles just roll off my tongue
they plop into the brook so the water
rises and slowly covers my feet

how many needles does it take
to weigh down the pines
how much silver would it take
to thread them all
why is there a toad
at the bottom
of every empty well

a myth is nothing mysterious
meaningless or ambiguous
someone once dreamt she was me
sometimes you pay the price
for giving things away for free

what would it take
for you to kick off your shoes and run
what is keeping you from being
what you were meant to be
when the ripe peaches fall
will you be there to catch them

sometimes wishes don’t come true
even when we wait
we don’t know the reasons why
what will you say
when they finally find me

bhagiti 7.12.07 perrysburg, oh

how much of this
am i willing to let go
with every one i lose
a little bit more
of what i think is me
and that’s what i wanted
i thought
but now
i don’t know
because what’s still
stuffed deep inside
is all i have left
of a few things
i don’t want to lose
that i want to myself
that i want to be real
again
but i know
they never will

c’mon
give it up now
sentimentality
is your liabilty
your achilles
heel
your
unenlightened
weakness

what would
the buddha
say

the robin’s breast full
worm eating its way through dirt
self dropping away

bhagiti 711.07 perrysburg, oh

remember that drive
through the old sleepy south
for seventeen hours
in the car we dissolved
for eons in silence
sometimes
and other times
shouting over the roar
of the road and
the ruin spinning by
the road made shimmering
by the endless dripping
of the wet orange sun
and both of us
somewhere between
loving and hating each other
which didn’t stop us
from everything in between
and twenty three years later
everything pains me
just a little bit more
and now i think i know
what you meant
when you said
nobody knows
what love really is
because when you
know what it all means
that’s the moment when you die
and when you said
love me now
i told you
i wasn’t ready to die just yet
rachel where are you now
i wish i would have tried
i dreamt about you
last night
you were the wallflower dying
just like the last time
except this time
i was the one
who couldn’t stop
crying

bhagiti 7.10.07 perrysburg, oh

what went wrong
just before
you plunged
into the new mexican desert

did you pray
did you think of your wife
did you try to pull it up
or had you given up
outside the island
of stability

were you gone
in an instant
or did you survive
long enough
to suffer our
primal
scientific cabal
or did you die
with your secrets
intact

now the kids
you never knew
are grown
and once
a year
they make the long trip
down to look upon the
christmas lights
and wonder
where the hell
you had
gone

bhagiti 7.9.07 perrysburg, oh

i woke up
this morning
having just dreamt
the perfect song

moments later
it was completely
gone

not a word
not a sound

bhagiti 7.8.07 perrysburg, oh

for every lightning bug there’s a streak of light
he’s a freak of night
the junebug dreams of a winter that he’ll never ever see
the katydid
knows what katy did
the mantis on my window is not afraid of me
but why she prays i don’t know
what sins has she

if we could take a deep breath
and squeeze our hands tight
we’d lift ourselves up
and float in the night
then like bubbles to the surface
we’d rise

truth never forgets
it’s always on time
it hides under your clothes
it has no regrets

bhagiti 7.7.07 perrysburg, oh

once it rained everywhere around me
except where i stood
it was dry
and the sun for a minute
warmed me
until the rain slowly filled in the hole

once we stood on the beach at the lake
with your toe in the sand
you drew me
a jellyfish and in a minute
warned me
that i was soon to receive my sting

where did everybody go
what does anybody know
we don’t build any walls
that can’t fall down

once you knew what it was to be happy
and now you’ve forgotten
it was a lie
you believed for a minute
warned me
then it rained everywhere around you

where did everybody go
what does anybody know
we don’t build any walls
that can’t fall down

bhagiti 5.6.07 perrysburg, oh

i’ve got plates
spinnning
on sticks in my hands
i wonder
if i let go
will anything
change
will everything
crash down
in front of me
will it all
just float away
or disappear
completely

bhagiti 7.5.07 perrysburg, oh

once a girl planted me
deep in a garden
up past my knees
i was a bleeding heart
but she left me there
and i took no roots

eventually i was scattered
by birds
if i had been
a waterlogged
spiny cactus
i would have made it
just fine

is this
what i was meant for
is this
what i was made for

i kiss the gates of possibilities
i hug the walls of impatience
how much longer do i have to wait
how much longer do i have to wait

i have waited long enough
i have waited long enough

bhagiti 7.4.07 perrysburg, oh

i took them down to the water’s edge
there i let them all go from my hands
hidden in tiny walnut shell canoes
i waved goodbye for the last time

the first one tipped and sank right away
a fish heaved and swallowed another
then the sky opened and pelted the third
a fusillade of tears battered it under

why did i do it
why did i let them go
i am a dusty streambed
i am a shipwreck

so while it continued to rain i jumped in
and there they all were glittering silver
with wings and fins living and breathing
tiny river nymphs living happy and free

i had to do it
i had to let them go
i am a dusty streambed
i am a shipwreck

bhagiti 7.3.07 toledo, oh

like lapis
and pearls
strung together
in long
crimson
ribbons
words
cannot live
breathe or die

but like people
they are
fragile
or robust
elusive
and
beautiful
some are
easily confused

what is this
jewel or
gaudy bauble
sparkling
noose
or silver
arms
beneath
your shirt

bhagiti 7.2.07 perrysburg, oh

a train whistle
splits the morning
pushing straight
through the middle

i hit the future bluntly
no cutting edge
to part the way
destination unknown

they say it’s
the getting there
that matters most
the arrival is the end

a crow holler
splits the morning
his beak pushing
through the middle

bhagiti 7.1.07 perrysburg, oh

oh god
who lives
in a cave
upstate

please
let me write
one song
just one

as good
as david’s

for i
am weak
and
my loss
of self
is failing

but i
want
something
beautiful
to show
for it

oh god
who lives
in a cave
upstate

please
let me write
one song
just one

as good
as david’s

bhagiti 6.30.07 perrysburg, oh

the other night
i saw god
he lives
upstate
in a cave
he moved
up there
from
flatbush
a few
years
ago

he was angry
beause
i was late
for a meeting
he called up
at the cave
he was
younger
than i
thought

i didn’t know
anybody else
they were
all diamond
cutters
dressed
in black
trying to
capture
diffused
sunlight

bhagiti 6.29.07 perrysburg, oh

let me hide
in your mirror
stow away
in your sad sack
tag along
in your loose change
tucked away
in your glad rags

an angel
moonapples
a humming
bird egg
you are a
mystery at once
so close
yet so far
away

i'll meet
both the dawn
and the dark
head on
but you i have to
imagine
or invent
from the ground
up

let me hide
in your mirror
just to see you
sometime
push me down
in your pocket
i'll be
your
good
luck
charm

bhagiti 6.28.07 perrysburg, oh

something’s
not right
i have an
uneasy feeling
like how
parakeets
can
predict
earthquakes

maybe it’s
nothing
i’ll shake it off
forget
about it until
somebody
tells me
something
bad

and i’ll
say
man
i had
a feeling
this
was
going
to
happen

bhagiti 6.27.07 perrysburg, oh

back again
slipping
through
darkness
i slept
most of
the way
this time

so did
the girl
next to me
once
in the early morning
she forgot
and put her arm
around me

between
rochester
and erie
i didn’t move
and secretly
pretended
we were
lovers

she awoke
and said
i’m sorry
i don’t know
what came
over me
i said don’t worry
it’s ok

bhagiti 6.26.07 perrysburg, oh

it’s been a while
i remember your
sandy pines and
stone quarry hill
your racetrack fairgrounds
deep gully ravine

remember me
we have unfinished
business
car wrecks and near
misses
the first kiss
that never was

what did you do
to earn your name
how low did you go
what else can you bury

i miss your mystery
and red brick
ubiquity
you were so close
yet so far away
i only made it
once by bike
it was a long ride home

bhagiti 6.25.07 lowville, ny

sunrise here
in beaver falls
moving
over and
through
the pines

and in an instant
i realize it
all of it
is me
or rather
i am it

i
you
we
are the fence
the trees
the moth
the hawk
the sunrise

we are
every stranger
and they
are us
and all
of this
too

no selves
we are
everything
and
you
are
it

bhagiti 6.24.07 beaver falls, ny

i was a big
d major add 9 chord
as i rolled over western
new york
lush green
with vineyards
plumping fruit fit
for spirits and ghosts

clickity clack
you can’t go back
clickity clack
you can’t go back

then writhing
trapped in my
four-foot
duffel bag world
racked in agony
long on the tracks
i had to empty myself
of everything

clickity clack
you can’t go back
clickity clack
you can’t go back

bhagiti beaver fallls, ny 6.23.07

home
i carry it with me
wherever i go

mine
is powdered
in capsules
hidden in a pillbox

they
are stowaways
and i ride too

i looked
only seven left
just one this time

i’ll need
to save the rest
for another time

one for
a wedding
a few for funerals

once
they’re gone
i’ll be free to ramble

bhagiti 6.22.07 before boarding a train to upstate ny

they say
there’s a lot in the sky
an expensive farm
that you can buy

a great gig
and a kingdom come with
a dice tossing,
spiteful king

but no train
will ever take you there
no escalator
over the hill

at the top
of the world you cast
no shadow
there is where it stops

the sky
is an empty open womb
a barren blue
deep inverted bowl

we fill it
with what we make of it
what we put there
are hope and lies

bhagiti 6.21.07 perrysburg, oh

there’s only one apple
per every two eyes
but the fruit is ripe
and big on the tree

love is like the air
we breathe it in deep
and let it go again
or ghosts we are

no orchard can contain you
you are a carnival

bhagiti 6.20.07 perrysburg, oh

i know the sound of my heart
it’s close to my skin
when i lost my voice
it was the only thing i could see

now i am a river tossing
and i am not in love
with the modern world
i can’t turn my back on beauty

i have legs for the sea
i spend most of my nights
underwater breathing deep
the salty brine and hiding in the weeds

the ground circles the worm
the ocean caresses the eel
everybody loves you
but i think you already know that

to fall out of the sky we’re made
the earth’s but good for a grave
the sea a naked breast gently
moving against my outstretched arm

you know the sound of my heart
echoing a hundred times
pitched way down low
in the current anemones sway in time

bhagiti 6.19.07 perrysburg, oh

please
please
please
help me out a little
i’ve tried to do right
i don’t kill spiders

please
please
please
i’m a good listener
i get along with almost
everybody

please
please
please
help me out a little
send something good
my way

bhagiti 6.18.07 perrysburg, oh

like the morning star
a beacon
cutting through
the dawn

three words
are
laser pulses

i’m still here

i was a fool
to doubt it

bhagiti 6.17.07 perrysburg, oh

this morning
all is new again
as it was yesterday
and will be again

i'll try to be
new again but
the old me of yesterday
won't let go of me

so today he's
my traveling companion
and he knows
i'm gonna ditch him

and we both cry
not wanting to lose
the other
but one of us has to go

bhagiti 6.16.07 perrysburg, oh

i’ll wrap myself
up in it
this blanket
of blue, full moon glow
wind it tight around me
to keep the stardust
like tiny shards of glass
from its unbearable
but inevitable
escape

i want to
keep it all inside
for as long
as possible
before i forget
and it seeps away
i want its cerulean glow
to warm me inside
and then inside out

i’ll remember
what i can

but whatever leaves
i’ll let go
and watch it
drift away
until i can’t see
anymore

what’s left
i will save
in a jar
drip in my blood
add fish fins and flowers
to make me another

bhagiti 6.15.07 perrysburg, oh

why is it i misfire this way
it would be so much better to
rewire it all now
but i’d just short-circuit myself

why do i have to feel this way
it would be so nice to
go back then now
but i’d just waste it on love

but that’s the only thing
the only thing
that’s the only thing
that i really need

why is it i feel so far away
it would mean everything to
be right here now
but i’d only pretend

why is it i’m so tired today
it would be so nice to
get some sleep now
but i’d just ruin it dreaming

but that’s the only thing
the only thing
that’s the only thing
that i really need

bhagiti 6.14.07 perrysburg, oh

so here it all is
I’m floating in it
wrapped in it
suspended by it
sustained by it
closed off from it
confused by it
in awe of it
angered by it
in love with it
frightened by it
denying it
forgetful of it
at odds with it
betting for it
and against it
wishing for it
dreaming about it
forgetting about it
worried about it
fantasizing about it
meditating on it
opened up to it
running away from it
accepting of it

bhagiti 6.13.07 perrysburg, oh

before this gets
too far out of control
we gotta remember
we’re all in this together
nobody gets out alive

what are we gonna do
wait for some horror
of our own making
or wrap our arms around
the texture of life

i spread my arms wide
so i’ll catch more
there’s room enough
for all this and more
i’m not done yet

fall into me i’ll catch you
and let you go again
but it might take me
more than just a minute
to let go

bhagiti 6.12.07 perrysburg, oh

i’m getting better
with silence
not the quiet
but the lack
of words

how many words
i’ve regretted
i’ve spoiled
i’ve misunderstood

silence isn’t
golden
it’s shiny lucre
a tainted trickster
acting out its own
mute revenge

silence contains
all possibilities
infinite potential
for whatever
might break
it’s deadly grasp

bhagiti 6.11.07 perrysburg, oh

i believe in beauty
i see it everywhere

i believe in beauty
i hear it everywhere

i believe in beauty
i feel it everywhere

i believe in beauty
i believe in beauty
i believe in beauty

bhagiti 6.10.07 perrysburg, oh

i feel like
i'm flinging armloads
of syllables, words and
letters over the side
of a cliff

i lean over
the edge and watch
them flutter and drift away
like mute little hawks
or paper moths

is anyone
below, caught in this
downpour of admissions
secrets and
confessions

are they
collecting these as they fall
piecing them together
out of order, making up
some different story

or is it all
in vain and me the fool
tossing it into the wind
only to have it all
blown back in my face

bhagiti 7.9.07 perrysburg, oh

i’m trying
to stitch this all together
from fragments
cast offs
and remnants

i’ll thread a
pine needle with silver
strands spun from
hope and
good intentions

i’ll make a
blanket big enough
to cover us both
and wait
alone underneath

i’ll sew
stars on the inside
so i can navigate
through these
strange passageways

bhagiti 6.8.07 perrysburg, oh

i was up late
last night
and went out to look up
at the stars

and when i did
i was small
but not in a bad way
just part of it all

better yet
i knew
the stars above me there
arched also over you

touching you
is as easy
as reaching my hand
way up into libra

to tip the scales

bhagiti 6.7.07 perrysburg, oh

my arm once retained the shape
of holding someone
it wouldn’t go back even though i tried
to bend it past its will
out of shape
out of sorts
out of desperation

when i woke up today i saw it was gone
i couldn’t feel a thing
and i wanted it to come back
and though i tried it was too late
and tears played
and tears played
all around my face

put me up on poles to help me stand
i‘ll scare birds away from the garden
tied up with regrets and rubber bands

my stuffing’s coming out
who will fill me up again

last night i dreamt
i watched pumpkins swell
and cabbages rise
there was nothing i could do
and crows realized
my silhouette was a lie
and they ate their fill
long into the night

bhagiti 6.6.07 perrysburg, oh

i'll get through
whatever i have to do
on feet, hands or knees

as before
from my mouth
flowers
and seawater
spilling out

my petals
i'll drop
like pins
onto trumpet skins

what sound
resounds
what numbness
whispers

i'll get through
whatever i have ot do
on feet, hands or knees
i'll get through

bhagiti 6.5.07 perrysburgh, oh (back yard)

riding free
the sea beside
was crashing on the shore
somewhere below

to my surprise
from the waves
i saw it there
it lay gasping in the brine

i moved close by
and in its eyes
i saw myself
and started to cry

in my arms
we did glide
out toward the deep
but i slipped beneath the tide

it was
you i did feel
wrapped around me
i had no need to breathe

we moved as one
beneath the waves
and it was love
that we played

bhagiti 6.4.07 perrysburg, oh

this is the one that is
my favorite color

it rises up slowly
like a flood

and evaporates
leaving behind

a sticky film
that i can’t wash

from my arms
that i can’t hide

from myself
that i’ll wear

like an invisible armor
to sheild myself
from nothing

but under these
floorboards creaking
the basement mildly

crashes

bhagiti 6.3.07 perrysburg, oh

its a conspiracy
they’ve pulled us all apart

they’ve cut our cords
now we’re wireless
strung out
disconnected

everbody’s talking
to something
but no one’s
really there

don’t say a word
just
touch me

no

don’t say a word
just
touch me

touch me

bhagiti 6.2.07 perrysburg, oh

there’s a woodpecker on the porch
chippin’ away at suet
a red-capped hammer nailing
himself into oblivion

i’ve been stuck in tubes
radio-fried, day-glo pictured
summarized
i have been observed senseless

if home is where the heart is
then i think i’m gonna need to leave
the flames are lickin’ high
and this kitchen sink ain’t enough to do the job

the lights on the dashboard
have ceased to function properly
i’m steering blind, in a bind, afraid i’ll fly
straight off the edge of obscurity

but it’s alright ma, i’m not bob dylan

nor is he and why should i
sympathize, sythesize,
plagiarize, gouge out my eyes
rationalize, organize, or even criticize

so on with cliche, if it sounds good once
do it again ‘cause this song’s a lie it’s a
compromise ‘cause i can’t think of
nothin’ else to say

let’s just say i am preoccupied

bhagiti 6.1.07 perrysburg, oh

i awoke
and for one
dreadful eternity
misplaced in a moment
i thought it never
happened

but as the
morning with its
curling fingers
reached through the blinds
to caress my toes
i knew

i knew
remembering
the warm softness
of the sun in your mouth
its glistening touching
mine

i knew
the silences
between and yet to come
would till deep into my heart
but there in the damp
flowers could hide

bhagiti 5.31.07 toledo, oh

this is the song i’m writing
to avoid the other one
i would if i could
but i’d only ruin it

here i’ll sing of elsewhere
or something about a horse
yadada yadada
blah blah blah

dreams, delusions, reveries
reality hammers them all
and cheap imitations
don’t come for free

i’d rather dance on the edge
of this blue, twisted steel
than dream up a world
that negates your touch

bhagiti 5.30.07 toledo, oh

today’s the day to remember
and i do i do
all i do is remember
all the things
that i can’t forget

i sing to sweet memory
a purse that’s locked up deep
inside my heart holding
all the things
that i can’t forget

but memory’s a fragile mistress
weak, seduced by influence
and off she goes with
all the things
that i can’t forget

so i’ll be left here by myself
with nothing but my white flag
pleading ignorance to
all the things
that i’ll never forget

but memory’s a fragile mistress
weak, seduced by influence
and off she goes with
all the things
that i can’t forget

bhagiti 5.29.07 perrysburg, oh

i had a dream the other night
that i fell from an aeroplane

i musta fell five hundred thousand miles
but i kept thinking all the while
what if it was you and not me

i’d be below you with my arms stretched wide
i promise that i wouldn’t miss ya if i tried
i bet i could even do it if i closed my eyes
how happy we we’d be when we’d collide

but in this dream it didn’t go that way
i kept fallin’ from that aeroplane

i musta fell five hundred thousand miles
but i kept thinking all the while
will there be anyone to catch me

i saw you down there with your arms stretched wide
i promise that i couldn’t miss ya if i tried
i knew at the very moment that i closed my eyes
how happy we’d be when we’d collide

bhagiti 5.28.07 perrysburg, oh

no wax to hold these
covered in honey
hardly off the ground
and already falling
eventually
i’ll reach
the sea

bhagiti 5.27.07 perrysburg, oh

if you want to know
where you’ve been
look at the soles of your feet
every road and exit
the roads less taken
and not
etched in dirt
and thorns mapped in wishes
suspicions, surprises
and dreary sunrises
 
walk with me
won’t you please
won’t you please
walk with me
 
if you want to know
where you’re going
let ravens be your guide
go as the crow flies
throw stones
and spit
the distance
see how many more before
you get back home
before you’re alone
 
walk with me
won’t you please
won’t you please
walk with me
 
bhagiti 5.26.07 toledo, oh

i said
i feel like i should
put this all in a jar
and bury it in the backyard
but i would only
roll in the flowers
that grew up in the spot

tuesday
those flowers spilled
from my mouth
washed out lillies falling
to the ground
and from them
golden bees circled and buzzed

i told
you everything
and before we could stop
it was too late
and wings of your own
lifted you away
and i wanted to come
but mine wouldn’t budge
covered as they were
in honey

there’s no making
any sense
of this

bhagiti 5.25.2007 perrybsurg, oh

i have a friend
he’s a poet
mysh
how do you do it
how do you make the words come
when there are none

what do you do
when words
aren’t
enough when they’re shit
when what’s bursting out of you
is indescribable
how do you do it

are we the great
poem, painting
or song
is the pain and desire
that rules both sickness and love
what we’d scream
if we only had the words

so this song
is a lie
‘cause what i really want
to say is impossible
with the words that i know and the only
other way is out of the question

so mysh
how do you do it
how do you make the words come
when there are none

bhagiti 5.24.07 perrysburg, oh

sometimes
it's really hard
like this
floating
alone
naked
in a semi
elliptical orbit

i am
jetsam
driftwood
detritus
the price
nine parts pain
one part bliss
makes it all
worthwhile

anywhere
my heart
rests
amounts to
nothing but
distress
and
deliciousness

anytime
my insides
ache with
your name
i die
and live
again

i'll be
left
out here
forever
it's a price
i'm willing
to pay
all i ask
is please
don't forget

bhagiti 5.23.07 toledo, oh

i’m here
didn’t you see me
i raised my hand
i had the right answer
but it was the wrong question

this is a dream
this is not a dream
this is a dream
this is not a dream
 
and now
like a bosch painting
in tempera
a penance for no sin
and flowers pour from my mouth

this is a dream
this is not a dream
this is a dream
this is not a dream
 
just then
a small miracle
a butterfly
neon paper-winged jewel
and suddenly it’s all clear

this is a dream
this is not a dream
this is a dream
this is not a dream
 
bhagiti 5.22.07 toledo, oh

take me back to the beginning
i want to start all over again
i don’t want to end up a clamshell
stripped of it’s muscle
cracked open on the shore
hey hey now don’t you frown

isn’t there some slight of hand
some sort of deceit where you close
your fingers over the egg
and open them up again
this time revealing nothing
hey hey now don’t you frown

i’ll give in to whatever works
whatever offers me the best odds
i don’t want to end up a hamster
stripped of his dignity
alsleep at his go nowhere wheel
hey hey now don’t you frown

isn’t there some violet tincture
some sort of undo elixer made from
honey or jelly and coconut leaves
i’d take it no questions
placebo or poison i’ve nothing left to lose
hey hey now don’t you frown

bhagiti 5.21.07 perrysburg, oh

i’ve lived and died on
other people’s words
two syllable angels
and in two more
nothing

what is this all about
who is this all for

the pregnant pause
a silvery bauble
strung with silent vowels
it lights up your neck

what is this all about
who is this all for

i’m equally to blame
i can’t shut up
the words come and come
but i get them all wrong

what is this all about
who is this all for

i’ll be tongue-tied
wrapped up and restrained
held back mute and mum
a string of empty words
hands tied

what is this all about
who is this all for

bhagiti 5.20.07 perrysburg, oh

ok what now
this didn’t come with a book
30 days gone
and the dials have all changed

do your worst
do your best
it’s the getting there
this is a test

i’ll rattle pots and pans
scare up some options
turn the big dial
and tune in the prizes

do your worst
do your best
it’s the getting there
this is a test

i think i’ll step
on this moving sidewalk
it’s a long way
to infinity

do your worst
do your best
it’s the getting there
this is a test

bhagiti 5.19.07 perrysburg, oh

like the new moon
in the old moon’s arms
only when lit by venus
do we know that it’s there

these old moon arms
are like mine they’re
tired but glowing
charged with knowing

that though invisible
there’s beauty
in the mysteries
of the unseen

i will continue to warble
from the balcony
located just below
this strange planetarium

bhagiti 5.18.07 perrysburg, oh

in my heart
there’s both a willow
and a well

under one i dream
into the other
i toss coins

gambling
on the promise
of dreams

i once thought
the heart is both
an asylum and a morgue

i was wrong
i take that back
it’s not like that at all

it’s a wilderness
and there we sit
under a tree

eating honey
worth the sting

sometimes
the heart’s not such
a bad place to dwell

as long as you leave open
a safe means
of escape

and gamble
on the promise
of dreams

bhagiti 5.17.07 bowling green, oh

note: i recorded two versions of this and accidentally uploaded the "unwanted" take first (below). this is the version i wanted but since i can't figure out how to delete the first post you all get the added fun of the "alternate take". pick yer fave!

isn’t it funny how
water we are
mostly
yet still we thirst

when skies open up
or our eyes
it’s 35 parts
salt

let’s float atop
this sargasso
buoyed by eels
and grasses

we don’t need to talk
or do nothing
but just float here
and laugh

here we can’t sink
this water
like a blanket
it is warm

bhagiti 5.16.07 toledo, oh

isn’t it funny how
water we are
mostly
yet still we thirst

when skies open up
or our eyes
it’s 35 parts
salt

let’s float atop
this sargasso
buoyed by eels
and grasses

we don’t need to talk
or do nothing
but just float here
and laugh

here we can’t sink
this water
like a blanket
it is warm

bhagiti 5.16.07 toledo, oh

to give up our heart
we make an illogical pact
it’s an agreement that is neither
understood nor implied

light passes through our skin
it’s both wave and particle
yet desire’s trapped inside
slave to apprehension

the underwater escape artist
cannot comprehend
what it means to be trapped
without lock and key

here’s a riddle for you
what happens after
someone leaps into the air
and doesn’t come down

enlightenment is nothing
more than the
realization of something
you already knew

bhagiti 5.15.07 toledo, oh

there’s a pain in my side
i try not to think about it
nothing to worry about
it’s just a small hole

but sometimes i’m afraid
that i’m losing something
that it will leak out
and i’ll end up hollow

visions come quickly they
flash across my skies
do i dare look directly
or turn away

how many songs in a year
would it take to convince you
how many would it take
before you fell in deep

what else can i do
before i spill out on the ground
would you with one finger
plug the hole

and even if you would
but just couldn’t
please tell me anyway
a ruby for your pearl

bhagiti 5.14.07 perrysburg, oh

sunday
sunday
sunday
what's the big deal about sunday
just another day next to monday

last night had me some big ideas
big plans
i was inspired
but now it's all gone
sucked away
by the black hole of sunday

for some sunday's the sabbath
but for me
it's the day the demons
ghosts and phantoms
stop over for a little fun
they get me all screwed up inside
so i can't sleep that night

next thing you know
(and this is the killer)
next thing you know it's monday

sunday
sunday
sunday
what's the big deal about sunday
just another day
just another day
that comes before monday

bhagiti 5.13.07 perrysburg, oh

i'll wait
i'll wait
i'll wait

seems like
when
you try too hard
nothing you ever want
ever happens
and there's
something
i really
want
so i'll wait
i’ll wait
i'll wait here

i'll wait
i'll wait
i'll wait

seems like
when
you try too hard
nothing you ever want
really happens
and there's
something
i really
want
so i'll wait
i’ll wait
i'll wait here

bhagiti 5.12.07 perrysburg, oh

the other day i could feel
that the moon and stars
were flashing deep in my belly
my universe surged

that’s what i’ll do then
make my rocket ship pill
and swallow it whole
travel my belly
in darkness absentia

that’s what i’ll do
to get out of it
that’s what i’ll do
to get out of it
that’s what i’ll do
to get out of it
that’s what i’ll do
to get out of it

stars
were flashing deep
in blankness absentia

that’s what i’ll
that’s what i’ll do then
make my rocket ship pill
and swallow it whole

bhagiti 5.11.07 toledo, oh

is the living soul the
means
or the end
what is living
what
is the soul

why can't i
lose me
why can't i let
go of it

ill stop
asking so
many
questions

bhagiti 5.10.07 perrysburg, oh

they say lightning
can strike twice
in the same place
i know this is true

when i was a kid
back on the farm
two horses on their backs
their legs in the air

the first got hit once
the other moved close
i'll worship the future
from the side of the road

bhagiti 5.9.07 perrysburg, oh

there's a way things happen
when everything's at rest
insects making worm food
worms are making bird food

once i wanted to tell you
how once i saw something
something terrible
unbelievable

it shook me up
it ripped me apart
i couldn't tell you
besides
you wouldn't believe me

there's a way things happen
when we're not at our best
there's a bird at my window
and a spider in my cereal

once i wanted to show you
how once i did something
something wonderful
unbelievable

it shook me up
it ripped me apart
i couldn't tell you
besides
you wouldn't believe me

bhagiti 5.8.07 perrysburg, oh

did the golden glow linger
was the secret worth the time
did you get what you came for
have you had enough already

take whatever you want
there will always be more
because what you want
is easy and meaningless

there’s something more
you missed it all along
directly in front of you
hidden in plain sight

look and see for yourself
a shivering nude reveals
a gift free for the taking
the key swallowed in vain

no velvet-lined purse
crushed purple or otherwise
can contain this simple truth
that you really aren’t alive

bhagiti 5.7.07 perrysburg, oh

when i lived in milwaukee
the pines they called my name
lake michigan everywhere
i was flotsam on its shore

in a huge tunnel i went
in a small bungalo i stayed
i met violent femmes but
frank lloyd wasn’t there

i was in a hard kind of love
elusive and strange
i didn’t get it all
at lake geneva

i wonder where you are
you gave me away but cried
i still have that scar on my arm
my heart’s at the door

when i lived in milwaukee
the pines they knew my name
lake michigan everywhere
and i missed new york

bhagiti 5.6.07 perrysburg, oh

it's time to take out the trash
i won't fill it up again
the truck comes and takes it all
yet i still feel the same

garbage in, garbage out
that's what they always say

goodbye toy robots, it's been real
see ya later tv, no regrets ok
adios old clothes, now you take care
so long crow, i hardly knew ya

it's time to take out the trash
i won't fill it up again
the truck comes and takes it all
yet i still feel the same

garbage in, garbage out
that's what they always say

bhagiti 5.5.07 perrysburg, oh

i’ll stand in the rain
with my arms stretched wide
i drink in the sky
this time each year
it’s always the same

i remember one time
when I was a kid
the day i turned five
in the driveway sand
i knew i was alive

if this time next year
if i make it through
i’ll sing this again
might add something new

it’s time to squeeze hard
time to kiss the moon
i’ll give this to you
again next year
it’s always the same

bhagiti 5.4.07 toledo, oh

i want to be redrawn
turn me over
shake me up
my heart and liver
powdery silver
 
stretch me out of shape
pull me hard
twist me up
deep in my belly
some kind of jelly

i’ll be your toy
i’ll be your toy
i’ll be your toy

i want to rock ‘em and sock ‘em
push my buttons
faint and jab
my spinal column
a flimsy ratchet

i want to be easy baked
pour me in
take me out
my chest cavity
toothpick comes clean

i’ll be your toy
i’ll be your toy
i’ll be your toy

bhagiti 5.3.07 toledo, oh

a prospector
my pan in your stream
sifting through your silt
swishing, constantly swirling

you're cold
my hands are like ice
sifting through your silt
swishing, constantly swirling

with patience
i'll gamble this vein
sifting through your silt
swishing, constantly swirling

don't lose heart
i'll never give up
sifting through your silt
swishing, constantly swirling

bhagiti 5.2.07 toledo, oh

why are you following me
i am lost
i don’t know where I’m going
or what to say
 
i’ll be led by the blind
to help me see
and touch my hands to your face
and read your lips
 
everything you couldn’t tell me
touch alone
what secrets would i learn
just enough
 
i don’t know where i’m going
but i’m gone
lost with my faulty compass
and one task
 
i’ll chart these hills and valleys
and keep the map
so i can find my way back
again and again
 
 
bhagiti 5.1.07 toledo, oh

i want a voodoo robot buddha
it will help me get things done
i need mojo
i need karma
i need help with my math

i’ll build a voodoo robot buddha
from stuff i’ve thrown away
got some chicken lips
radio parts
and some real old bamboo

i’ll love my vooddo robot buddha
it will help me be complete
goodbye ego
goodbye desire
hello good, good vibrations

i need my voodoo robot buddha
it’s the only thing i’ve got
i’m pseudo hip
superstitious
i can do my own taxes

i’ll wreck my voodoo robot buddha
it has unhinged my life
i need real love
emotion and feelings
screw your pincushion, sensei circuits

bhagiti 4.30.07 perrysburg, oh

how does it feel to be traveling
i don't know i've never been
my movement seems different
i'm not from around here
you see

you say toledo, i say to-lay-do

why did you dig that hole there
i don't know it's always been
it somehow seems different
it leads away from here
look, see

you say toledo, i say to-lay-do

why did you think you could stay here
i don't know where i've been
my body seems different
i'm not from around here
you'll see

you say toledo, i say to-lay-do
you say toledo, i say to-lay-do

bhagiti 4.29.07 perrysburg, oh

you know how it is
the difference between
dreams and reality

i want you to know
how sometimes
i have trouble with reality

and always in my dreams
i live beautiful lifetimes
finding hen’s teeth
in violet haystacks

did you know that when you dream
you love somebody
they are having the same
dream about you

but we’re always too afraid
to tell each other
that’s why i’ll never tell you
the one about you

bhagiti 4.28.07 perrysburg, oh

why are you so angry?
didn’t you like your peanut?
don’t you know how much i love you?
why did you run away?

why are you so far away?
do you think i’d hurt you?
don’t you know how much i love you?
why did you run away?

where are you always hiding?
i try so hard to find you
don’t you know how much i love you?
why did you run away?

why are you so jumpy?
where do you go at night?
don’t you know how much i love you?
why did you run away?

i promise i’ll never hurt you
i’d keep you warm and dry
don’t you know how much i love you?
please don’t run away

bhagiti 4.27.07 perrysburg, oh

i wish i was as free
as that nutjob
on the dance, dance revolution

he doesn’t care
works up a sweat
and laughs to himself out loud

he’s in his own world
they know him there
they are beautiful pixels

had a dream one time
that i was naked
and i could breathe underwater

i wish i was as free
as that nutjob
on the dance, dance revolution

bhagiti 4.26.07 toledo, oh

what happened
did you feel that
or was i somewhere else
far away

did you know how much
i wanted to brush your arm
and see if you were real

i showed you something maybe i shouldn't have
now you know

what have i done
and if you aren't really there
i don't think i want to know
at least i'll have this

what happened
did you feel that
or was i somewhere else
far away

bhagiti 4.25.07 perrysburg, oh

last night i thought i saw a ghost
flickering at the end of my bed
something wasn’t right
last night i thought i saw you
floating over the lawn
but it wasn’t really my room
and it wasn’t my backyard

last night i heard something scratching
it was crawling through my walls
something wasn’t right
last night i thought i heard you
howl at the moon
but they weren’t really my walls
and it wasn’t my moon

and you weren’t really there
and you weren’t really there
and you weren’t really there
and you weren’t really there

bhagiti 4.24.07 toledo, oh

there’s a hole i’d rather crawl into
than face, deal or consume
i’ll eat myself up
sustained on my own failing

there’s an energy that has no source
it’s powerless yet fuels
spasms and fears
it dampens my sheets

no mirrors for me, nothing to see
that i don’t already know
leave me alone
this is not for you, it’s mine

all mine
all mine
all mine
this is not for you, it’s mine
all mine
all mine
all mine

bhagiti 4.23.07 perrysburg, oh

when we were kids, my brother and i
clothespin card motorcycle ride
up and down the street again
each time losing a little bit more

ride ride ride
a little bit more every time
ride ride ride
a little bit more every time

pushin' harder now, my brother and i
credit card mortgage just to stay alive
back and forth to work again
each time losing a little bit more

ride ride ride
a little bit more every time
ride ride ride
a little bit more every time

bhagiti 4.22.07 perrysburg, oh

the sun shudders, prometheus groans
solar flare plucking
base loop magnetic vibration
a song driving worlds unseen
do they dance?

it's like that here 'cause no one atones
some ugly duckling
stuck in a sticky situation
longing, needing to come clean
deep in a trance

as lost as we are still in our own homes
bullets we're ducking
as if shot from our own gun
and stripped naked we're seen
a sidelong glance

old gods under gilded concrete domes
accounting for nothing
but someone's dull vacation
rigid, artificial and mean
do they dance?

bhagiti 4.21.07 perrysburg, oh

here it is the eve of
the end of all my dreaming
and onward to inevitable
purple bathers lingering

the other day three vultures
up in the tree behind my house
i said hey no, not yet boys
i don’t need you at this breast

uncommon virtues like viruses
like phantoms hang on lingering
blue corpuscles tingling
my leg that can’t stop jingling

i let go of this soft machine
what I gain I cannot feel
as promises of tongues tastes
intermingling and otherwise former dreaming

bhagiti 4.20.07 – toledo, ohio